(2) I suppose you could say how you personally define them, that some people who identify as pan are what you'd consider demi, and some others may be what you consider bi. My understanding of bi would be something like yours, but your understanding of demi would be inclusive of both my understanding of demi and mine of pan. As long as we have this understanding of each other's positions, I don't think I need to say anything more. It's not like either of us is an authority on the matter.
(1) I think it's true that the way things are described is overall rather iffy. There is no ultimate authority saying what these things mean, so people are apt to personal interpretation. As I said, pansexuality was originally introduced to me under this description. What I've heard of demisexuality seems to describe something deeper required, so that's what I go with. If demisexuality was more officially described as how you say, I'd be comfortable with switching to saying demi, but it isn't.
How I understand it, a demisexual person has to be really close friends with someone and have a really deep connection with them before being sexually attracted. I could crush on someone based on a really good conversation, although I guess for me I do find the idea of being demi more comparable to my situation than bi, although it still isn't quite right. Pansexuality was originally described to me the way I described it (personality-based), and I identified with that before I'd heard of demi.
I think that demisexuality is a lot like bisexuality (well, pretty much all sexualities) in that a lot of people describe it in one way, which becomes ubiquitous, but they actually leave a lot open between person to person.
So while that may be true for some demisexuals, it strikes me more of a “personality is required” sexuality than pansexuality.
BTW I’m assuming when you say crush you mean sexually crush, although I’m not sure how that works. It’s obvious I’m not your sexuality.
A person's personality, mental and emotional connections. Finding those things attractive (usually romantically at first), can then lead to looking at that picture in a different light. Just like someone who is attracted to both physical and what I described, can look at a picture of someone they know and like that way and be more sexually attracted to that picture than a picture of someone that is just physically attractive to them. Thus, sexual attraction to that person based on those aspects.
I thought the term for that was demisexual
By someone "not of physical ideal" I mean someone that if a person were to see, say, a naked photo of, without knowing anything about them, would be someone they are not attracted to. I suppose "ideal" is too strong a word. Actually, upon reflection it really is, sorry for that. "That physical appearance does nothing in particular for me when it comes to sexual attractions."
So what are you sexually attracted to?
Okay, so you understand the person that can be sexually attracted to someone that isn't their physical ideal? It's not a perfect comparison, but "person not my physical ideal" is everyone. I have no physical ideal because physical sex of a person doesn't attract me. The other things that can be sexually attractive about the person regardless of lack of physical ideal are what can attract me regardless. I don't know if that explained it any better?
You can explain it better with specifics.
What do you mean by “physical ideal”? Because I’m attracted to a LOT of people who aren’t my physical ideal. That’s super common.
That was the answer. And good, sorry I wasn't sure how easy to distinguish it was, considering what you'd asked. But that's what it is, what I'm attracted to. A part of attraction that people that are bi- hetero- and homosexual can all experience, alongside their physical attractions. That sexual attraction to people based on their personality, mental and emotional connections. Except it's that exclusively, instead of in addition to the physical-based. I'm sorry if the way I put it was confusing
Why do some people not feel attraction toward someone that meets their physical ideal? Why are people attracted to some people that are nothing like their physical ideal? Attraction based on personality, mental and emotional connection isn't exclusive to romantic attraction and friendship. It may be hard to properly distinguish it from physical-based sexual attraction when you feel both, but only feeling one makes it clearer.
I feel both. It’s not hard to distinguish, at the very least it’s not hard for me to distinguish. I can’t really speak for anyone else but for me that’s super simple.
Also you didn’t answer my question
I'm not insecure. I'm certain of what I am. I was attempting to let you know some information that I thought you were probably unaware of due to your negative experience with people. Tell me, is your calling people identifying as pansexual names and making terrible assumptions and generalizations about their motives much different? That is, you feel superior, don't you? You don't need to trash pan to defend bi. Just as those people don't need to trash bi to defend pan. You are both wrong.
How do you experience sexual attraction independent of sex? You must be experiencing it in relation to something. What are you sexually attracted to?
Is there a dedicated Out of Context OITNB blog? Because
I really really need it.
Have I mentioned that I think we need a distinct sexuality for people who have kinks and are attracted to those kinks solely?
This is something wildly different from bisexuality. Whatever it would be called, either that anon is this or is not attracted to humans.
So I have to be forced to conform to a term I feel personally uncomfortable with and do not identify with the definition you laid down for it at all because you feel it's redundant? "Are you attracted to male sex or gender?" "Are you attracted to female sex or gender?" No, I'm not. Neither. Never. Not sometimes. "Do you have sexual attractions?" Yes, I do. I don't consider that to be the same thing just because you say "well, you are still attracted to people in those categories".
I’m not the sexuality police. I also was never aware of how insecure 30-year-olds could be if you’re really this distraught over what one lunkhead with an opinion on the Internet has said in an offhand remark once.